I thank you for your kind letter of the 17th inst. I shall be pleased to attend. I have authorised my letter to you to be published in time for the six o'clock news on a slow news day, for maximum impact.

I understand we may get to meet soon when Mr John Redwood MP, invites his bloggers to tea on the House of Commons Terrace. [hint - Ed]

I remain, sir, your humble servant.

The Prime Minister has asked me to commend your recent fair, balanced and truthful letter and wishes me to convey his approval of said letter being released to the media immediately.

On an unrelated note Gordon Brown is also keen to reappoint some members to the MPC and is considering the possibility of a new highly paid Banking Czar, a high profile post with wide ranging, largely illusory powers.
He invites you to attend an informal meeting with him at No 11 to discuss this proposal.
The PM's Secretary, Mr Darling, will be happy to make an appointment for you at your convenience.

"The UK is well placed to deal with the credit crunch" ~ most commentators and international organisations seem to see this as a straight falsehood

"Crime is falling" ~ well it maybe falling if you only go out with a six police escort and a stab vest like the Home Secretary, but for the rest of us, the figures simply don't respect the lawless anarchy that is a UK town centre on a weekend evening. People seem to have lost faith in the politicised police actually being able to deal with offences and so REPORTED crime is falling

"Inflation is 3.3%" Probably the most non-sensical of all when you look at fuel and food prices.

It really is starting to resemble the former soviet union when government stats showed that their economy was a glorious success (as long as you were a member of the inner party!)

Inflation always hits the lower paid first, especially those on fixed incomes such as the retired. We can talk of CPI and 3% or 4% but for those most vulnerable the effective rate is several times that.

This is a matter on which I believe the Conservative Party should take a clear and unequivocal stand. We know Labour will continue to spout the sad old rhetoric of "they are only interested in the toffs, the poor will suffer". We also know that some will believe them. Although not a member of any party, I do not believe them either as a matter of principle or as a result of actual policies when in government.

I believe the principles of the Conservative party in this respect are two-fold, first that those who succeed should not be punished and secondly that those on lower incomes should have their incomes protected by government policies not plundered.

Furthermore, radical reductions in the lower rates of income tax from 1979-1997 put a lie to the Labour claim.

The first essential policy is a commitment to increasing personal allowances in line with (or above) the real level of inflation for those on average incomes and below (obviously the precise measure is a matter for debate but it is the principle that counts). The next two years threaten to be quite punishing for the less-well-off, an immediate substantial increase in personal allowances in 2010 can restore real incomes to what they are now without stoking an artificial consumer boom.

This must, of course, go hand-in-hand with a regular theme on these pages, namely a substantial reduction of the overall tax burden.

It's not just a matter of making a promise to get votes, it's about being fair and doing the right thing by everyone in the country.

Our Industries sold off, Our fishing grounds Plundered, We are now past Peak Oil, our Farming demolished with F&M, Bluetongue bird .
Flu, Two Wars being fought on a Peacetime Budget, A big Pile of Gold swapped for a big pile of…..paper.

All of these are Avoidable expenditures. I am an engineer not an economist, so perhaps I may be mistaken but it looks to me like Great Britain is being Deliberately Gutted.

The Governor has passed your letter to me for reply.

I have been informed by the National Statistical Office that there is a serious error in the inflation calculation issued today. This was caused by the loss of some critical data. The item concerned is coded for security purposes as "seat-4b-10:42-to-Clapham-Junction". The NSO will publish a correction before PMQs tomorrow.

I am advised that the Treasury no longer considers the "Balance of Payments" to have any economic significance; as they did for terms such as M3 Money Supply. The group that assembled this data has now been re-tasked to carry out an economic study of bananas for the government of the Bahamas; they are due to report their findings in 2018, but this may be delayed.

The recent economic turmoil crossing the Atlantic from America has caused a phase shift in the economic cycle of the UK. The treasury assures me that this is purely a technical aberration that will be corrected by simply changing the dates of the economic cycle to align with government rhetoric.

As a result of the Irish vote on the Lisbon Treaty, the relationship between the Pound Stirling and the Euro no longer has any economic significance. The Prime Minister will make this plain at PMQs shortly before we join the Eurozone of common unit of asset valuation and exchange mechanism.

Apologies, the word Enron was a typo, no such organisation or individual has ever existed. The phrase "off balance sheet accounting" is a media fabrication.

Finally, on behalf of the Governor, I must apologise for the nations current financial situation. If only we at the Bank had listened to Gordon Brown this unfortunate situation would never have arisen.

The governor has been under considerable stress over the last 18 months and he apologises for the fact that he failed to give the government 10 years notice of a possible liquidity problem in certain financial institutions.

The Governor has been my sole concern over this period and I noticed that he was becoming too dependant on me. He found himself between a NORTHERN ROCK and a hard place; dependant on me to make decisions for him, which I did, without a thought for myself as his possible successor. (My membership of the MPC expires in June 2008, I am available for re-appointment).

Yours

I particularly dislike business rates as it just a tax on .. being a business. you don't even get an extra bin for paying DOUBLE or TRIPLE what a homeowner in the same space might pay.