I did not realise how much you have all come to rely on regulatory notices warning you of risks in your lives that our kind quangoland and government now issues for us. It has been heartening to read your palpable sense of relief and enjoyment when I put some on the bottom of my texts for your protection.
As I have been asked for some more, here are some general ones today which you could use for future stories that might otherwise alarm.
LIVING IN THE UK CAN DAMAGE YOUR WEALTH
DRINKING WINE IN PRIVATE AT HOME WITH YOUR FAMILY IS A MIDDLE CLASS ACTIVITY WHICH MAY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH
TRYING TO ARREST A BURGLAR SHOWS YOU LACK SYMPATHY FOR THE FINANCIALLY AND MORALLY DEPRIVED AND MAY BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE
STERLING MAY GO DOWN A LOT AS WELL AS GO DOWN
THE GOVERNMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PAY YOUR PENSION AND ANY DEBT REPAYMENTS IN DEVALUED POUNDS
JUST BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT BUYS BANKS SHARES DOES NOT NECESSARILY IMPLY THEY THINK THEY ARE CHEAP
MINISTERS NEED AIR FLIGHTS AND OFFICIAL CARS TO HELP THEM GET OVER THE IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAT FLYING AND DRIVING CAN DAMAGE THE PLANET
JOB SECURITY CAN ONLY APPLY TO THE PUBLIC SECTOR
PLEASE ENJOY THE CURRENT GOVERNMENT SHOW AS YOU WILL BE PAYING FOR IT LATER