What to call Gordon’s Attendance Allowances

I have been thinking about what we should call Attendance Allowances for MPs.

I first thought they should be ASBOs – Arrive, Swipe, Be Off.

Then I realised they are LILOs – Log In, Lope Off.

Do you have a better proposal?


  1. witteringsfromwitney
    April 27, 2009

    Whilst I q

  2. Pete
    April 27, 2009

    How about SIKOs?

    Sign in, knock off.

  3. John Bowman
    April 27, 2009

    How about MP = Mendicants Profit.

  4. Ben
    April 27, 2009

    The possibilities are infinite:

    SWINE: SWipe IN, Escape
    PIG: Punch In & Go
    TROUGH: TRavel Over, Update & Go Home
    SATS: Send Assistant To Swipe

    (No offence to you I am sure!)

  5. Floreat Aula
    April 27, 2009

    Hm, let’s see monies paid in return for attending the work place – how about ‘salary’…

  6. oldrightie
    April 27, 2009


    Turnip heads turn up then go home. Not all of you of course, some need to be preparing for Government!

  7. Donna W
    April 27, 2009

    They’d be cash cards:

    C – Commons
    A – Attendance
    S – Swipe and go
    H – Home

  8. Neil G
    April 27, 2009

    Surely it’s a Turning-Up-Regularly Dividend.

  9. Libertarian
    April 27, 2009

    How about what the MEPs use, SISO: Sign-in, sod off.

  10. Jonathan Cook
    April 27, 2009

    My suggestions:

    1. Brown Shield Stamps

    2. Dick Turpin Allowance

    3. Gordon Brown Memorial Grants

    4. The Westminster Minimum Wage

  11. Mark m
    April 27, 2009

    There already is a name. SISOs, its what the MEPs call them.

  12. Paul
    April 27, 2009

    How about



  13. mikestallard
    April 27, 2009

    It was interesting in the TV film how the cameras were driven out of the building.
    Our parliament is getting more and more like the totally Prussian Wilhelmine Reichstag which is the EU parliament.
    But – hey – it brings peace to Europe!

  14. Constantly Furious
    April 27, 2009

    How about:


  15. Constantly Furious
    April 27, 2009

    ..or how about …


  16. Shaun Pilkington
    April 27, 2009

    Financial-Uplift Commons Kitchen-comittee Enhanced Dispersment.

    As in “Is Gordon okay? He looks stressed…”

    “Yeah, he’s now looking [at] F……”

  17. Trevor Honeyman
    April 27, 2009

    These things should be ‘BISTO’S’

    Book In, Share Taxes Out, and Scarper.

    Hopefully Browns and thickens the public at the same time – if only we would swallow it. (No chance!)

  18. alan jutson
    April 27, 2009

    Secure Cash Advance Money System

    Tax Avoidance Remuneration and Distribution Income System.

    Larger Income for Exceptional Stooges.

    Just a few to get on with.

  19. Elizabeth Elliot-Pyle
    April 27, 2009

    A scandal?

  20. Mark
    April 27, 2009

    FOBs – Fill Our Boots

  21. Frustrated taxpayer
    April 27, 2009

    PFI – Policitical Fix Initiative or maybe PPP – Public Purse Pays

  22. Anoneumouse
    April 27, 2009

    TOSI:- troughs out, snouts in

  23. TomTom
    April 27, 2009

    Jobseekers’ Allowance

  24. Tony
    April 27, 2009


    Clock On Clear Off

  25. catosabout
    April 27, 2009

    How about BIBO?

    Book in, Bugger off.

  26. Kieran
    April 27, 2009

    CIPO – clock in and piss off

    We could also introduce a new verb – Troughing, the act of filling ones boots at the public expense.

  27. Lola
    April 27, 2009

    The plural of ASBO – ASBI Another Stupid Brown Idea.

  28. B Griffiths
    April 27, 2009

    JBPA’s = The Jacqui Bath Plug Allowance
    GBHF’s = Gordon Brown Holiday Fund
    WTC’s = Where the Cash?

  29. Anon
    April 27, 2009

    After May next year, many Labour MP’s will be claiming an allowance for sure, the Jobseekers Allowance.

  30. Obnoxio The Clown
    April 27, 2009

    Nothing that you would publish.

  31. Colin D.
    April 28, 2009

    Single ticket for the next gravy train

  32. Brett Trevalyan
    April 28, 2009

    Why, it’s obvious!

    The Bankers Bonus!

    (Well, it sounds a bit like bankers, anyhow….present company excepted)

  33. Nick
    April 28, 2009

    It’s theft.

    Unless you allow the public the same tax perks


  34. Disillusioned
    April 28, 2009

    FIFO – File In and F**k Off

Comments are closed.