Dear EU shareholder and citizen,
I am writing to reassure you that all is going well with our great European project. We have agreed plans to expand our spending for next year, and are busy working on a future budget strategy which will ensure continuous growth in our activities for the decade ahead. I am sure you all agree that after the huge success and popularity of the Common Agricultural and Fisheries policies the peoples of the EU are keen to do more together through our Brussels head office and central staff.
We are especially pleased with the long term progress made with our own currency department, managing the Euro. So popular is this that we have a queue of territories wishing to sign up to enjoy the advantages of it. Even our UK subsidiary, which has been reluctant in the past, has recently signed a document which their local Works Council says confirms the long run intention of all territories to join.
There have been some problems in the press with territories that have borrowed too much in local subsidiaries. I must stress to their CEOs that this is contrary to company policy and we will be taking further measures to control such behaviour in the future. We are currently drawing up a new Stability and Growth Pact to set out limits to each subsidiaries borrowing. We will also be adding better surveillance of all their business policies, and adding penalties for those who do not follow the company’s recommended approach. I am sure all local and regional managements will come to appreciate the need for a common approach, as one subsidiary does not like having its cashflow diverted to pay the bills of another.
We are concerned about our Greek subsidiary. We have issued a stern warning that they must spend less, until they build up their revenue more. It would not be good for the comnpany’s image if they failed to meet all their interest bills and repayments. We are very pleased with the way our Irish subsidiary is undertaking its third round of spending cuts to get its own excess borrowing under control. It is an example to all those subsidiaries with disappointing trading results in recent years.
I am pleased to report that the new management in the Uk subsidiary is settling in very well, and seem to be keen on collaborative working. They have willingly agreed to EU GMB taking more responsibility for their customer discipline policies and legal matters, have agreed to an expansion of the role of our external representation functions, and are enthusiaists for the new borrowing and economic disciplinary framework. This has come as a wonderful surprise. I think it shows the wisdom of our approach to the recruitment of new management. We have allowed the anti company factions full rein to run their own candidates for management who never succeed in winning, to make sure no new management is appointed with full power to take an anti company line. We are hopeful that we can help them reform the whole system, to modernise it to one where it is unlikely ever again that an anti company management could be elected. The new Deputy CEO for the UK is a strong company supporter and is important to our future in this territory.
We have been watching the antics of US Inc who have developed a passion for printing more money as a way out of their trading difficulties. I wish to confirm that this is not our company’s policy. We may of course need to give a wider range of powers and policies to our banking department so they can compete in an increasingly sophisticated world of money and finance, but this is entirely different to the wanton printing of dollars being undertaken by US Inc. Buying in bonds the way we do it will not be inflationary, I can assure you.