What to call Gordon’s Attendance Allowances

I have been thinking about what we should call Attendance Allowances for MPs.

I first thought they should be ASBOs – Arrive, Swipe, Be Off.

Then I realised they are LILOs – Log In, Lope Off.

Do you have a better proposal?

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34 Comments

  1. witteringsfromwitney
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    Whilst I q

  2. Pete
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    How about SIKOs?

    Sign in, knock off.

  3. John Bowman
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    How about MP = Mendicants Profit.

  4. Ben
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

    The possibilities are infinite:

    SWINE: SWipe IN, Escape
    PIG: Punch In & Go
    TROUGH: TRavel Over, Update & Go Home
    SATS: Send Assistant To Swipe

    (No offence to you I am sure!)

  5. Floreat Aula
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    Hm, let’s see monies paid in return for attending the work place – how about ‘salary’…

  6. Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    THTUTGH!!

    Turnip heads turn up then go home. Not all of you of course, some need to be preparing for Government!

  7. Donna W
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

    They’d be cash cards:

    C – Commons
    A – Attendance
    S – Swipe and go
    H – Home

  8. Neil G
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    Surely it’s a Turning-Up-Regularly Dividend.

  9. Posted April 27, 2009 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    How about what the MEPs use, SISO: Sign-in, sod off.

  10. Jonathan Cook
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    My suggestions:

    1. Brown Shield Stamps

    2. Dick Turpin Allowance

    3. Gordon Brown Memorial Grants

    4. The Westminster Minimum Wage

  11. Mark m
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:10 pm | Permalink

    There already is a name. SISOs, its what the MEPs call them.

  12. Paul
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    How about

    DILDOs

    Drop
    In
    Logon
    Drop
    Out

  13. Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:21 pm | Permalink

    It was interesting in the TV film how the cameras were driven out of the building.
    Our parliament is getting more and more like the totally Prussian Wilhelmine Reichstag which is the EU parliament.
    But – hey – it brings peace to Europe!

  14. Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    How about:

    Top-up
    Honourables
    Incomes
    Every
    Visit,
    Each
    Swipe

  15. Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    ..or how about …

    This
    Remuneration
    Obviates
    Us
    Getting
    Housing
    Expenses
    Regularly

  16. Shaun Pilkington
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    Financial-Uplift Commons Kitchen-comittee Enhanced Dispersment.

    As in “Is Gordon okay? He looks stressed…”

    “Yeah, he’s now looking [at] F……”

  17. Trevor Honeyman
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    These things should be ‘BISTO’S’

    Book In, Share Taxes Out, and Scarper.

    Hopefully Browns and thickens the public at the same time – if only we would swallow it. (No chance!)

  18. alan jutson
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

    SCAMS
    Secure Cash Advance Money System

    TARDIS
    Tax Avoidance Remuneration and Distribution Income System.

    LIES
    Larger Income for Exceptional Stooges.

    Just a few to get on with.

  19. Elizabeth Elliot-Pyle
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    A scandal?

  20. Mark
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

    FOBs – Fill Our Boots

  21. Frustrated taxpayer
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    PFI – Policitical Fix Initiative or maybe PPP – Public Purse Pays

  22. Posted April 27, 2009 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

    TOSI:- troughs out, snouts in

  23. TomTom
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    Jobseekers’ Allowance

  24. Tony
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    Cocos

    Clock On Clear Off

  25. Posted April 27, 2009 at 6:40 pm | Permalink

    How about BIBO?

    Book in, Bugger off.

  26. Kieran
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 6:56 pm | Permalink

    CIPO – clock in and piss off

    We could also introduce a new verb – Troughing, the act of filling ones boots at the public expense.

  27. Lola
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    The plural of ASBO – ASBI Another Stupid Brown Idea.

  28. B Griffiths
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 10:18 pm | Permalink

    JBPA’s = The Jacqui Bath Plug Allowance
    GBHF’s = Gordon Brown Holiday Fund
    WTC’s = Where the Cash?

  29. Anon
    Posted April 27, 2009 at 10:19 pm | Permalink

    After May next year, many Labour MP’s will be claiming an allowance for sure, the Jobseekers Allowance.

  30. Posted April 27, 2009 at 10:39 pm | Permalink

    Nothing that you would publish.

  31. Colin D.
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 7:24 am | Permalink

    Single ticket for the next gravy train

  32. Posted April 28, 2009 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    Why, it’s obvious!

    The Bankers Bonus!

    (Well, it sounds a bit like bankers, anyhow….present company excepted)

  33. Nick
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 2:11 pm | Permalink

    It’s theft.

    Unless you allow the public the same tax perks

    Nick

  34. Disillusioned
    Posted April 28, 2009 at 5:24 pm | Permalink

    FIFO – File In and F**k Off

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    John Redwood won a free place at Kent College, Canterbury, He graduated from Magdalen College Oxford, has a DPhil and is a fellow of All Souls College. A businessman by background, he has been a director of NM Rothschild merchant bank and chairman of a quoted industrial PLC.

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