Santa’s little helpers go green

      Ho Ho Ho said Santa. No, No, No said the elves. They were fed up with such a predictable opening line to the 50 th weekly Zoom meeting to plan Christmas. It was the same every time.

The elves had got more unco-operative since they worked from home. The camaraderie and cold of the North Pole used to keep  them together more. The work rooms were warm so they had used them a lot.

         It’s true they were not  planning a strike, but they had refused to make trips to the North Pole for a trial run in the days before the  big event. They pointed out that they needed rest days  before Christmas, not stressful  flights  burning up lots of aviation fuel to arrive in Lapland on their way north. If Santa expected them to work hard and long hours to prepare the presents he should not complain if they wished to do much of the work at home . They  expected the reindeer  to pick it up from them in good time.

         Santa told them today they had at last got to the question of what presents to deliver to all those who worked in politics. Oh dear, said elf Wunorse Openslae, they are always difficult. What do you give to people who have so many opinions?  And what do you give to the ones who have big ideas about what they want? We do need to think about how much the reindeer can haul you know. The politicians are all so used to spending other people’s money on big things like new trainlines.

         Bushy Green who liked to show off a bit said these days people in the political world  were very ESG. So what does that mean asked Santa? Well it means they want presents that help them green the planet. They would  like electric cars or a wind turbine for their gardens. That’s not fair or practical , said Santa. We need to offer smaller gifts that fit on the sleigh, and do not cost the earth.

        We could tell them we were just sending them love and good wishes said Pepper Minstix, as this year  we are going to spare the planet all those things with wrappings that are just dumped. After all they are always complaining about too much packaging. No-one likes a clever clogs said Santa, and anyway that’s very negative. We need to try harder.

         How about a smart meter for their home asked Alabaster Snowball, ever ready with an intelligent  way round things. I doubt they would be very pleased with that said Santa. Most of them must have them by now as they’ve been available free for several years. They don’t need another one.

         They thought about sending  them a beautiful bound copy of the world net zero plan as they heard  that is mainly what they read these days. Apparently that is what gets them motivated. That sounds too much like work said Sugarplum Mary who would rather send them some chocolates.

         Why not offer them a four day week said Shinny  Upatree who thought that would be a good idea for himself. Don’t be silly, said Santa. We do not interfere in how people’s jobs are organised. More’s the pity said the elf.

         Eventually the meeting reached a great conclusion.  They should send them a small wood burning stove to keep them warm as they economised on fossil fuels. Someone had objected that burning wood did not sound very green. On the contrary said Bushey Green, it’s not called wood you know if you do the right thing. We will buy them a biomass stove. There is no carbon to account for as long as they import all the biomass from abroad. The politicians will get that, as they want us to import all our  energy to cut the carbon count. What  a relief they all thought. At last a gift that will make the politicians feel good about themselves whilst being practical. It will keep them warm as they wrestle with the windless days that stills the turbines.

103 Comments

  1. Mark B
    December 21, 2022

    Good morning.

    They should send them a small wood burning stove to keep them warm as they economised on fossil fuels.

    Very good, and not an ‘Elf and Safety’ joke or a ‘Carbon hoof-print’ joke in sight.

    Sadly the reality is far less funny and yet more surreal. I mean, chopping down new, carbon capturing wood and importing it by very polluting ships, rather than the fossilised wood under our feet.

    How’s that melting ice going, Santa ?
    😉

    1. Anselm
      December 21, 2022

      And this very morning, lo and behold 6.5%of our electricity comes from wood burning Drax!

      1. Hope
        December 21, 2022

        Very good JR, happy Christmas.

        It appears Santa has not caved to left wing ideology from EU, WHO, WEF and UN unlike Snake and Hunt! Is Mrs Clause a woman or trans nowadays? Does it change on a daily basis?

        1. Hope
          December 21, 2022

          I presume Santa, elves and their families will be put up in an all inclusive four star hotel for the rest of the year and make sure all illegal criminals get their present first? I am not sure if Santa has a visa or an illegal entrant? Either way NHS is there for him! Bit tricky with those reindeer crossing the Irish border or Irish Sea when he delivers to N.Ireland. All those checks on goods!

      2. Lifelogic
        December 21, 2022

        It would make rather more sense to burn the wood in people’s houses where all the heat is useful not wasting 60% or so of it heating the atmosphere as they do at Drax.

        Perhaps a small Stirling Engine and an alternator to generate a little electricity for the house from the heat too. Or use natural gas to do this.

        1. Mark B
          December 21, 2022

          LL

          Did you not know, they want to ban wood burning stoves !

          Can’t let the peasants have energy independence, cathey ?

      3. Lifelogic
        December 21, 2022

        Plus they pretend this it is zero CO2. Still at least they have not blown Drax up!

    2. Lifelogic
      December 21, 2022

      Indeed what causes more environmental damage chopping down trees (young coal) to import on diesel ships to burn at Drax or mining and using old coal from underground? The former also produces more CO2 should that concern you (not that is should).

      Good to hear a senior Toyota chap pointing out the obvious total insanity and absurd impracticality of full electric cars with new (Lithium) batteries every few years for all. They also cause more CO2 than keeping your old smallish ICU car running. For aircraft even more insane and far more serious range anxiety.

      ‘Miserable’ solar-powered Christmas tree lights in King Charles’s Poundbury’ I see reported. Tip for the green nutters from Physics/Engineering person – solar power is not so good on short, cloudy, winter days around 25th Dec. But if you want one in June or the Southern Hemisphere in December fine but prob. cheaper and more sensible to run an extension anyway.

      1. Cuibono
        December 21, 2022

        +++
        Look
come on now
it’s Christmas!
        These rich elites have got to add to the coffers somehow.
        The 3rd Industrial Rev has ground to a halt and they have high hopes for the 4th.
        Greenwashing is VERY lucrative!

      2. Lifelogic
        December 21, 2022

        “Unions have made a conscious choice to inflict harm on patients” says Steve Barclay the Health Secretary. Indeed but why say “inflict harm” people will certainly die as a direct result so “Kill” might be rather more honest & accurate. But then serial governments for all my life have made conscious decisions not to properly reform the dire, communist, NHS system that fails millions and kills thousands every single year. This through huge delays, negligence, misdiagnosis, misallocation of funds
 The NHS being “free” at the point of treatment (or more likely non treatment) also kills most alternative provision and most innovation.

        How many of the children who have recently died of Strep A were due to delays in the GPs or NHS in seeing them and getting them the right antibiotics?

        Jeremy Hunt was Heath Sec. for nearly five years so what did he do to try to sort the dire NHS out?

        1. Cuibono
          December 21, 2022

          100% 🎄
          Brilliantly put!

    3. Peter Wood
      December 21, 2022

      If you want to hear or read a bit of sanity on climate science, Google this chap:
      Dr. John R. Christy is the Distinguished Professor of Atmospheric Science and Director of the Earth System Science Center at The University of Alabama.
      He’s got some videos and papers published, well worth a look. There are some real scientists who tell it how it really is.

      1. Lifelogic
        December 21, 2022

        Sustainable energy without hot air Mc Kay is a good book too free online.

      2. Mark B
        December 21, 2022

        Cheers. I’ll take a look.

    4. Nottingham Lad Himself
      December 21, 2022

      Oh, my aching sides…not.

      On more material matters, the brexit rule that makes EU citizens reapply to stay in UK is unlawful, the Court says.

      The Judge says that the Home Office rule that puts those with ‘pre-settled status’ at risk of deportation is ‘wrong in law’

      Of course it is. There is a long-established principle in English law that a person is entitled to rely on the law as it is at any relevant time. That generally means that if you have a permanent right to something today, then it cannot be decided tomorrow retrospectively that it was only temporary after all.

      That guy’s mob in 1930s Germany used to do that.

      1. Mickey Taking
        December 21, 2022

        Please explain those with ‘pre-settled status’ – is that a Government agreed declaration of citizenship, some half-arsed number of years of being in hiding, or the more likely NI number with clear benefits claimed over several years? I suppose it also could be an ex-student who has got his/herproduced family here on the basis of they were not refused at Passport time.

      2. Peter2
        December 21, 2022

        And an appeal is immediately being requested.

  2. Cuibono
    December 21, 2022

    But are Santa and his elves aware of the EU’s new “Fit for 55”( if that’s the correct name) legislation? Do they know whether it will affect them even?
    We can’t have the methane-emitting reindeer skimming across borders carrying goodness know what carbon-rich goods and not paying their carbon taxes now can we?

    1. Lifelogic
      December 21, 2022

      Do not worry methane will soon be so expensive that they will doubless be collecting it from reindeer/cow/dog burps and farts in bags, plus catching the dung for heating/cooking.

      Excellent podcast with Andrew Bridgen MP and James Delingpole on the vaccines etc. just out. It is extremely worrying but clearly largely true. Still Sunak (and that foolish or dishonest junior health minister woman who pathetically replied to Bridgen’s speech) claim that “the vaccines are safe & effective”. So are they very ignorant, wilfully ignorant, v. stupid or blatant liars.

      The truth is surely now very clear to all who care to look. They are not effective, not remotely safe and not even needed & certainly not needed for the young who were never even at any real risk. Clearly far more risk from taking the vaccines.

      1. Hope
        December 21, 2022

        LL,
        Vaccines were issued under emergency licence. There is no longer an emergency so they should be stopped and travel normal ethical route before any further mass roll out.

        Tory govt covering their arses will back fire. Everyone now knows they made bad decisions, carrying on will make it worse as they are knowingly injuring and killing people. How about the save lives save NHS mantra!

        1. Lifelogic
          December 21, 2022

          We now have the results of a massive roll out – the result of this appalling “error” seem to be dire.

      2. Mickey Taking
        December 21, 2022

        we could do with a proper study comparing something like sawdust added to various poo, and the aging required prior to burning as ‘logs’ in a wood stove.
        Cat, dog, cow, sheep, horse, human – for starters.
        Forget your peat…

        1. Cuibono
          December 21, 2022

          Well
dung is widely used for fuel in dried cakes.
          Or you can make biogas from the dung.
          Lovely solutions.
          But they seem intent on getting rid of animals!
          (Including us?)

          1. Lifelogic
            December 21, 2022

            Indeed but you have to find the “reindeer” food. A large working horse might need ~ 60,000+ KCal a day so about 70 KWH – enough for an electric car to do 350 miles or so.

          2. Mickey Taking
            December 21, 2022

            LL – well the Government and the science world, excluding yourself, seem to know that in a year or two electricity for driving a motor will be readily available and cheaper than other forms of propulsion. Marvelous – a panacea.

      3. Cuibono
        December 21, 2022

        Yes and how odd that Bridgen has been suspended for 5 days?
        Plus according to Twitter some very elevated people have some strange investments considering what you and the suspended MP are talking about.
        So really they would claim “safe and effective” wouldn’t they? £££££££s.

        1. Lifelogic
          December 21, 2022

          Indeed Bridgen also pointed out why the Downing Street Party was a bring your own bottle party – as I suspected it seems it was surely to ensure no formal record of any alcohol provision by Downing St. so preplanned.

          1. Mickey Taking
            December 21, 2022

            Staff took a suitcase to a ‘local’ shop, filled it with bottles (not lemonade I gather) and returned wheeling it to the rear entrance – I wonder why?

          2. Cuibono
            December 21, 2022

            +1
            Ah ha!
            Talk about sneaky.

      4. Lifelogic
        December 21, 2022

        Some advice for Fishi Rishi Sunak:- the extent of the vaccine damage that has been caused (even to people never at any serious Covid risk) is very significant and is Worldwide. How ever much pressure is put on MPs, the BBC, the medical profession, the victims, the MSM, NHS staff and by OFCOM to try to hide this massive error it simply will not work. Not even until the next election in two years time.

        Best to come clean now Sunak, Hunt, Steve Barclay


        While you are at it Sunak you could also come clean on the main causes of inflation. Namely your and the BoE’s money printing & currency debasing, the extended pointless lock downs, the vast government waste while you were Chancellor (HS2, the test and trace scam, the pointless degrees for £50k of debt, the ineffective and dangerous vaccines
 The high cost of energy is caused not really by Putin’s evil war but mainly by May’s and your Net Zero rip off, unreliable energy insanity.

      5. Clough
        December 21, 2022

        Bridgen is good but he needs to be careful with quoting facts from memory. He told Delingpole he voted for the ‘vaccine’ mandate to be imposed on care workers at a time when he was locked down and so didn’t have the opportunity to converse easily with colleagues and clarify things. This seems to be wrong. The vaccine mandate was voted on in Parliament in autumn 2021 when there was no lockdown.

        1. Lifelogic
          December 21, 2022

          The coerced vaccination or lose your job agenda from Javid and others was appalling. This even if the vaccines had been effective and safe. They were not and they surely knew that or should have very early on. The government (Norway) has decided that the AstraZeneca vaccine will not be used in Norway, not even voluntarily,” Prime Minister Erna Solberg. This was as early as May 21. Questions were also raised after considerable vaccine damage was noticed in Israel quite early.

          Yet still in the UK now we get:-

          Pfizer/BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine authorised for use in infants and children aged 6 months to 4 years
          The Comirnaty COVID vaccine has met the MHRA’s required safety, quality and effectiveness standards to be authorised for use in this age group .

          How on earth did they come to this conclusion? What benefit is there to children even if it did work?

          1. Mickey Taking
            December 21, 2022

            any criticism on the Oxford, AstraZeneca vaccine – the original one?

  3. formula57
    December 21, 2022

    And just as the Zoom meeting was about to end with the elves, being all Generation Z-like about to go into paroxysms of self-congratulation at how clever they had been, deserving of the highest praise and perhaps another evening off, a newcomer joined the chat. A collective groan arose as Diversity Elf took over the meeting, challenging them all to re-think: where was the diversity in all politicians getting the same gift? No, no, no, that would not do. Santa shook his head, sighed deeply but well-used by now to coping with nonsense put on a brave face and asked for more ideas from “my ever-resourceful crew”. After much thought, a good deal of squabbling and some reprehensible name-calling that saw two elves cancelled and made Santa blanch it was agreed some of the stoves would be relabelled as “solar-alternative temperature equalizers” for distribution to the particularly gullible who, as Cynnicus Elf pointed out, also contribute to diversity. Santa hurried off to consult his list of PPE graduates for some reason.

    1. Cuibono
      December 21, 2022

      +many
      Very good!
      And did they all have to sit in the corner and “check their privilege”?

      1. Hope
        December 21, 2022

        Do not forget now people are allowed to self identify their gender on a daily basis the quota system for boards or organisations of equal amounts of men and women can be achieved more easily. Therefore elf numbers to help Santa is easy to achieve. For example, get half of all male elf’s to self identify as women to keep the Tory Marxist bean counters happy at Whitehall, I say Whitehall but all work from home! If gender is allowed to be fluid on a daily basis can it also apply to ethnicity? This way all Tory quotas can be achieved! Same for age, the boat children who arrive at Dover are a classic example. Is this not the rationale for climate scam import rather than produce your own?

  4. Cuibono
    December 21, 2022

    A really good stocking filler for the elves to give politicians would be a lovely little solar powered kettle.
    The 45 minute cup of tea, sunshine permitting.
    Another virtue-signalling present could be an outdoor, bag shower. Best used in Summer of course.
    Happy, replete, well-scrubbed politicians with a minus 1000 carbon footprint.
    How nice!

  5. Stred
    December 21, 2022

    This year the reindeer will be working from home in Laptopland. Presents will be digital and recyclable in the virtual bin.
    Any real or solid presents will arrive by DPD I vans driving at 90mph on motorways.

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      and thrown at your door from the kerbside.

  6. Berkshire Alan
    December 21, 2022

    Perhaps the elves should remind Santa that in delivering his presents, they may have to pay the ULEZ fee when entering a large City, they should not park too long on rooftops with red tiles, and that if crossing any borders they may just need the correct paperwork in place, because we have a lot of Barrrr Humbug people around !
    On second thoughts Alternative Elf suggested, if they substituted the sleigh for a rubber dingy, everything would be ok as no rules applied, indeed they may even get some unexpected additional help in making sure all the presents arrived safely. !.

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      I assume Santa has a reliable speedometer? Mustn’t get caught speeding over 20 mph in cities and some towns.

  7. Wanderer
    December 21, 2022

    Trips to the North Pole reminded me of an eco-warrior I once knew who worked for one of the UKs biggest green NGOs. He used his position of considerable power to advocate for preventing flood and coast defence works, to limit public access to the countryside, and to bash almost anything that produced CO2.

    When it came to his “trip of a lifetime ” to go on a nature cruise of Antarctica however, that was just fine…he saw no contradiction at all, and had not one shred of embarrassment about telling us all about it.

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      I assume he rowed there?

  8. davews
    December 21, 2022

    Ho, Ho, Ho…
    The Santa special train appears to be running normally this year despite the train strikes on Christmas Eve. But you have to be quick to see it as it pops through your local station.
    https://www.realtimetrains.co.uk/service/gb-nr:S73184/2022-12-24/detailed

  9. BOF
    December 21, 2022

    Surely the politicians already have a wood burning, sorry, biomass stove to keep them warm while the wind does not blow.

    Unfortunately there may not be wood to make the sleigh, or reindeer to pull the sliegh, as Lapland strips the forests and destroys the habitat of the reindeer to mine rare earth metals for batteries for green electric cars while they erect wind mills to generate electricity! Except when the wind does not blow, of course.

    The elves will have nowhere to work except from home.

    1. Hope
      December 21, 2022

      Trouble is crops used for biomass creates floods because it is not deep rooted therefore topsoil is washed away when creating run off flooding. When there used to be those things called cows pasture fields absorbed rain and prevented flooding, however they fart too much apparently! Not that foul air was a problem at Westminster!

  10. Richard II
    December 21, 2022

    Well, that raised a few chuckles, so thank you, Sir John. I suspect the present politicians would like to have would be… public confidence in them. Trouble is, they’re going to have to change their MO a lot in order to receive it.

    For now, though, in keeping with the seasonal spirit, I’ll grant all of them a Christmas truce. Especially to Rishi Sunak who by my understanding saved Christmas for us last year from the lockdown fanatics. That’s something I won’t forget.

  11. MPC
    December 21, 2022

    So glad you refer to Santa rather than the appalling Father Christmas, with its blatantly male, white and therefore racist connotations. However, next year please use ‘S Claus’ only, in order to ensure you offend no one through the adoption of full gender neutrality in your terminology.

    1. Brian Cowling
      December 21, 2022

      The English “Father Christmas” for me every time.

      1. Hope
        December 21, 2022

        Critical race theory as most view Santa as white. This must stop.

        The fact he is a drunk, left so many topples at each house, is not a problem. Nor apparently is drunk driving a sleigh a problem either!

        1. Mark
          December 21, 2022

          Claus is of course a male name – the Dutch version of Klaus. Santa is an echo of the St Nicholas origin. The Dutch normally pair St Nicholas with Zwarte Piet (Black Pete), but the latter is now regarded as cultural appropriation rather than diversity.

          1. Mickey Taking
            December 22, 2022

            with all the handouts, perhaps we should adopt Santa Sunak as the new seasonal saint?

    2. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      Problem with white beard? Other genders may apply false beard.

    3. agricola
      December 21, 2022

      What a load of oblate spheroids.

      1. Hope
        December 21, 2022

        Yeah, he also seems to to slap the reindeers too hard! Anyone got the RSPCA involved?

  12. turboterrier
    December 21, 2022

    Things are so bad now that your characters in today’s post would make a much better job of running this country.
    As you get older think of the things you have achieved and smile. Then think of all the things you let pass you by and all the things you never did.
    Wasted chances and opportunities will be the lasting epitaph for these last twelve years of government. What makes it even sadder is they cannot and will not see it let alone understand it.

  13. glen cullen
    December 21, 2022

    Has anyone in government told Joe public that going green isn’t going to reduce their domestic home energy bill 
we need to be honest about the true costs

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      but the cost is going up every 6 months !

    2. agricola
      December 21, 2022

      Glen, going green/ nett zero government style has utterly synically increased energy bills unnecessarily and is directly responsible for cost of living inflation with current industrial unrest. Cause and effect.

    3. Fedupsoutherner
      December 21, 2022

      Glen. Yeah like the people in the media today who took advantage of the government grant for a heat pump which cost them thousands more. They now get energy bills of ÂŁ7k a month. I’m thinking they must have large homes but then…..

    4. Original Richard
      December 21, 2022

      glen cullen :

      I was watching a HoL Environment & Climate Change Committee meeting when at one evidence session one person said :

      “If we’re not transparent with the public they won’t accept the Net Zero Strategy”

      A second person said in another evidence session :

      “If we’re honest with the public they won’t accept the Net Zero Strategy.”

      The Government, Parliament and the Civil Service are following the second person’s advice and the UK agitprop organisation, aka the BBC, has been tasked to frighten the UK public into accepting we have CAGW with false extreme weather stories.

      1. glen cullen
        December 21, 2022

        Yeah; we had a week of very hot summer weather and the BBC proclaimed climate change induced heat wave while only last week we had very cold weather and not a smidgen out of the BBC 
why didn’t they proclaim a climate change induced mini ice age

        1. Mickey Taking
          December 22, 2022

          It has changed, there are very cold winds blowing around Westminster replacing lots of normal hot air.

  14. Dave Andrews
    December 21, 2022

    Biomass stove – I like that. Now I know we don’t have a wood burning stove Michael Gove wants to ban, but an appliance the government approves of in pursuit of net zero.

  15. Geoffrey Berg
    December 21, 2022

    ‘Why not offer them a 4 day week? – We do not interfere in how people’s jobs are organised’.
    O really is there no interference? What about Sunday trading laws or imposing extra bank holidays at whim? What about a maximum 48 hour week (subject to employee opt-out) or controls on vehicle driving hours? What about ‘work from home’ directives and rights? I say there should not be interference (unlike now) without compelling reason.
    Although the time is not yet and Peter Dowd M.P.’s private member’s bill needs amendment to phase in a standard 4 day working week (and I do not accept employees should compulsorily suddenly be paid for a 38 hour working week while working only 32 hours), for a time a standard 4 day (Monday-Thursday) should become underpinned by law until it becomes normal and entrenched!
    The reason? People’s most valuable resource in life, their time, is just being wasted now, mainly by bureaucracy. In the early Middle Ages most British people (as farmers) managed with an average 20 hour working week. In the 1901 Census 90% of a much smaller workforce (with few working women) worked in productive manual jobs and only 10% in middle and upper class jobs. Now due to much better technology manual jobs have been reduced to well under 40% but mainly unproductive and frequently bureaucratic middle class jobs have increased to over 60% of the workforce. People’s time and therefore lives are now being wasted by inessential bureaucracies and this for the sake of people’s freedom to live their lives as much as possible as they wish must now be tackled and changed as a top priority.

  16. Denis Cooper
    December 21, 2022

    On topic, wood burning stoves are going out of fashion:

    https://www.irishtimes.com/life-style/2022/12/12/the-cleanest-stove-to-heat-your-home/

    “We are having to rethink our wood-burning stove”

    “We are having to rethink what we saw as our greenest heating source back in the retrofit pioneer days. The wood-burning stove remains unlit for the most part. Victorian Christmas card scenes of open fires with apple-cheeked people have knitted fire into our idea of hearth and home. But wood-burning stoves can be a source of air pollution, both indoors and out. And our older one probably needs an upgrade. We fire it up occasionally but only with bone-dry wood. The sizzle of a damp log is the sound of particulate matter, tiny shreds of soot that add to the pollution burden in the air.

    New European Ecodesign regulations apply to all new stoves, so don’t buy an uncertified model. These new stoves have lower emissions and get the most out of their fuel. But the cleanest stove will be an electric one, when renewable energy powers our homes. And they have come a long way since the 1980s when orange plastic flames flickered in the metallic wind of a blow heater. The fanciest ones now come with log boxes beneath them where you can stow show logs, perfect bone-dry pieces of wood that lend their smell and look to a stove that won’t impede anyone else’s ability to breathe deep clean lungfuls of shared city air.”

    Off topic, JR, thank you for your efforts over the year and for tolerating so many of my off topic contributions.

  17. Lynn
    December 21, 2022

    Ho Ho Ho! Give them the stove but no wood or biomass. Let’s GIVE THEM A LESSON this year!
    Merry Christmas Sir John, wishing YOU all good things, from the far flung frozen North (Northumberland)

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      standby for the pillage from those coming over the border !

      1. Lynn Atkinson
        December 21, 2022

        It’s the other border in peril, the one that failed in 1066. Our border is sound.
        Merry Christmas. Plenty of turkeys this year I understand. Amazing what we can do when we do it for ourselves.

        1. Mickey Taking
          December 22, 2022

          We only have to close the M6/ A74 and A1.

  18. Julian Flood
    December 21, 2022

    Sir John, season’s greeting.
    Please excuse my not being able to raise a smile about the car crash that is UK energy policy. I read in my local paper about the huge off-shore windfarms off the Norfolk coast which, it says, will lower energy prices but which will in reality do no such thing. The same report mentions Sizewell C which will trash our coastline, subsidise French nuclear industry as they struggle to redesign (or re-redesign in reality) their almost unbuildable EPRs and will lock in high electricity prices.

    Let me add a Scrooge note to the celebrations of those tearing the guts out of the UK’s industrial competitiveness: consider the phrase ‘nationalisation without compensation’.

    Ned Ryerson, the weatherman in Groundhog Day, that best of all science fiction films, is asked for a forecast. “You wanna forecast, Princess? I’ll give you a forecast. It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be dark and it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.”

    JF

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      Bah Humbug.

  19. No Longer Anonymous
    December 21, 2022

    Above all else Greenism is last year’s Christmas gift to the Tories that keeps on giving.

    It is a convenient passing bandwagon that they have jumped on to tell us that getting poorer was intentional and is being done for our own good and has nothing to do with their gross economic and political incompetence.

    Sorry if this is a repetitious posting as I cannot see the usual “awaiting moderation” message for some reason.

  20. DOM
    December 21, 2022

    The SNP is destroying Scotland. What happens in Scotland will eventually reach our shores in England. We are witnessing the birth of a politics that sees human beings as mere ideological fodder

    1. Mark B
      December 21, 2022

      DOM

      Leave the Scots alone. In fact, when it comes to the Scots, I am all for LEAVING them if they cannot LEAVE us.

  21. Bloke
    December 21, 2022

    Father Christmas and his helpers are gift service providers. They exist for the purpose of the consumer. What consumers value is the freedom of choice. Sending money delivers that. It simplifies the process and cuts out virtually all the chaos, clutter and unknown outcomes. However it is the excitement of all those surprises and unpredictable dramas that are central to the enjoyment of Christmas, so let it flow.

  22. agricola
    December 21, 2022

    Perhaps you should be writing childrens books SJR. Sadly the situation government have put us in, and their lack of original thought, does not bode well for the electorate in 2023 or your party in 2024. Labour offers no viable alternative so prepare for a political upheaval, consocialism has no future. A few Conservative MPs may realise it, the Conservative Party at large knows it , and it is begining to be realised by the electorate. The total lethargy of government sitting on its hands but doing nothing, like lamped rabbits, is not leadership.

  23. Keith Collyer
    December 21, 2022

    Nurse, nurse! He’s off his meds again!

  24. Ian B
    December 21, 2022

    Good morning Sir John

    I enjoyed today’s entry. Thank you

    Elsewhere it seems odd that MP’s are against ‘Free Speech’, against liberty, against criticism, against free thought. MP’s have declared war on the people that voted them in. MP’s have started to seek their right(as MP’s) cancel society and freedoms. WHY? a MSM ‘Virtue Signal’ or part of a process?

    “I accept that people are going to call me awful things every day, and I will always defend their right to do so.”
    Barack Obama

    1. Bill B.
      December 21, 2022

      Another comment asking why oh why are things so bad. Why do MPs want to restrict people’s opportunity to express themselves freely about politicians’ performance? Why do you think?

      ‘I accept that people are going to call me awful things every day, and I will try to ensure they won’t be heard’ seems to be the motto now.

      Ministers won’t even answer straightfoward questions from MPs, as SJR has shown repeatedly in this diary.

      1. Ian B
        December 21, 2022

        @Bill B. – The real weird one. I need to paraphrase it “It is better that all dissenters are heard rather than suppressed, even if they turn out to be terrorists. At the very lease we know who they are” That was Boris Johnson while Mayor of London

        Now we get a Parliament playing ‘Thought Police’ and when you read their self opinionated letter it shows them to be less than honest in quoting on things they could never possible know. Out and out stirring up trouble in some way to bolster their own self worth. They need to resign they are not fit to represent the people of this Country

  25. Mark
    December 21, 2022

    Happy W Interval. W is the time between windy days….

  26. Mark
    December 21, 2022

    On biomass: I have noted that much of the biomass capacity has continued to run at high utilisation as it enjoys the twin benefits of high market prices with added ROC subsidies that must make it highly profitable. However, since the start of the winter baseload season on October 1st, the CFD funded units at Drax and Lynemouth totalling over 1GW that should be giving us much lower cost electricity have only been run for a few hours during extreme price spikes in the cold weather.

    Their CFDs are tied to the Baseload Market Reference Price which was determined by a handful of reported trades for winter baseload during the price spikes over the summer. At ÂŁ405/MWh it means that these units are paying a tax of around ÂŁ275 on every MWh they produce. They will have added costs for warming up for intermittent operation. Hence why they only operate in price spikes, and consumers lose out because of the CFD windfall tax.

  27. Bert Young
    December 21, 2022

    Sadly Santa has grown old and is no longer able to control his goodwill attempts . He tries hard to keep up his efforts but his helpers have also suffered against the swell of those who look to the skies . ” Is it time for me to let my boy take over ?” Santa asks ; ” Should I switch from antelopes to electric sledge to make things easier ?”. Try as he may the demands are overwhelming , so , this Christmas he will probably stay in front of his fire with a glass in his hand . All the best Santa .

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      Perhaps the reindeer should have new names.
      zoom, team, skype, goto?
      It would be good to talk to them instead of the old chap.

  28. Bryan Harris
    December 21, 2022

    We will buy them a biomass stove. There is no carbon to account for as long as they import all the biomass from abroad. The politicians will get that, as they want us to import all our energy to cut the carbon count.

    That does kind of sum up the attitude of those very green MPs that believe in the saying; “not in my backyard” – happy to put their problems elsewhere so they can be deemed innocent.

    We don’t get enough value for money from our MPs – so many are afraid to speak out on subjects that do not comply with guidelines or the official narrative.
    For example, Andrew Bridgen gave an excellent report to an almost empty Commons on just how bad the covid jabs are – Instead of being congratulated on his bravery at bringing some truth to the subject he has been suspended for some absurd reasoning….. Please do not suggest the suspension was not done to punish this MP for speaking out.

    Is it any wonder that faith in our green unfledged parliament is rightly at an all time low.

  29. Denis Cooper
    December 21, 2022

    Off topic, there is an interesting blog article here:

    https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/blog/uk-brexit-deal-eu-agreement

    “The UK can’t improve its Brexit deal without EU agreement”

    On which I have offered the following comment:

    “In my view it would be far better to openly break the treaty and suffer a short period of national disgrace than to endure perpetual national humiliation with successive holders of high offices of state crawling up the backside of one EU panjandrum or another, in the way that James Cleverly tweeted his humble thanks to Maros Sefcovic for so kindly allowing us to move veterinary medicines between two parts of our own country, at least for another three years. We know from the EU Commission – not from our own government – that Boris Johnson’s fantastic “Canada style” free trade deal is worth very little to the UK, not the ÂŁ660 billion or 30% of GDP that he implied but 0.75% of GDP, or maybe nothing at all according to other, probably more reliable sources, and we should have just defaulted to the terms of the existing WTO treaties. But before we go ahead and announce that we no longer consent to be bound by the terms of the Northern Ireland protocol we should introduce UK export controls on goods destined for the Irish Republic over the land border, with export licenses provided online through the existing SPIRE system administered by the Export Control Joint Unit within the Department for International Trade. It would only need Kemi Badenoch to make an Order under Section 12 of the Export Control Act 2002 to extend the remit of that unit to cover a new category of goods, “All goods to be carried across the land border into the Irish Republic”.”

    1. IanB
      December 21, 2022

      @Denis Cooper +1

      International treaties that have meaning are only between Countries, the unelected unaccountable EU Commission is not a Country.

      1. Mickey Taking
        December 21, 2022

        And the word of a dictator is worthless.

  30. Barbara
    December 21, 2022

    Ha ha! Thank you very much, Sir John, and a Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  31. X-Tory
    December 21, 2022

    But will Santa’s reindeer-pulled sleigh require authorisation from the CAA before being allowed to fly? Because if so then there will be no presents for all the good little boys and girls around the world. Just look at how long this useless, incompetent, stupid, bureaucratic, lazy organisation has taken to authorise Britain’s first-ever space flight, to be launched by Virgin from the Corwall spaceport. It is frankly astonishing how long this high-profile, top priority project has been delayed by the cretins at the CAA. Once again we see that in Toryland NOTHING WORKS, which is why – as I’ve said before – The Tories are NO BETTER THAN LABOUR.

    1. Dave Ward
      December 21, 2022

      The CAA are more commonly known in the aviation fraternity as “Cancel All Aviation”…

  32. Ian B
    December 21, 2022

    From The Telegraph

    From – Ian Duncan Smith
    “We have been too lax on deal making that threatens national security – there has to be a reckoning “
    “The UK government has huge purchasing power. Our departments pump billions into the economies of other countries every year. But we rarely seek to use that purchasing power for good, and sometimes we turn a blind eye to the vulnerabilities investment from overseas can create here. “

    “We have to get serious about this, rather than simply paying lip service to fundamental human rights while continuing to seek a cheaper deal at all costs. “

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2022/12/21/have-lax-deal-making-threatens-national-security-has-reckoning/

    We are not alone in thinking the UK Parliament has lost the ability to fully and properly manage the UK on behalf of its people.

    1. Original Richard
      December 21, 2022

      IanB : “We are not alone in thinking the UK Parliament has lost the ability to fully and properly manage the UK on behalf of its people.”

      Parliament, the Civil Service, the educational establishment and the judiciary, amongst other institutions, are exhibiting the correctness of Robert Conquest’s second and third laws of politics :

      The three laws are :

      1) Everyone is conservative about what he knows best.
      2) Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.
      3)The simplest way to explain the behaviour of any bureaucratic organization is to assume that it is controlled by a cabal of its enemies.

  33. Dave Ward
    December 21, 2022

    “Most of them must have them by now as they’ve been available free for several years”

    Smart Meters aren’t “free” – we are all paying for the useless things through higher energy bills…

  34. X-Tory
    December 21, 2022

    Sir John, I’m a bit confused, so perhaps you – with the backing of the ERG researchers – could clarify something. We are told that the value of OUR OWN FISH which the EU will graciously allow us to keep next year is going up from ÂŁ716m to ÂŁ750m. This is a paltry increase of just 4.7% – which is far LESS than the rate of inflation. And furthermore, catch levels will be going up by 13% (agreed by the advisory body The International Council for the Exploration of the Sea), so why is the value going up by only around a third of this?

    Besides, this is, in reality, the TOTAL value of ALL the UK’s fisheries agreements – not just with the EU but also with Norway, and the rest of the North East Atlantic Coastal States. If we look at just the UK-EU agreement, the UK’s share of OUR OWN FISH will be just ÂŁ280m, while the EU’s share of UK fish – OUR fish – will be ÂŁ880 million. In terms of catch the UK will get 140,000 tonnes while the EU will get over 350,000 tonnes!

    So the EU will get MUCH, MUCH MORE of OUR fish than we do. This is another TORY BETRAYAL, and proof that the Tory traitors are NO BETTER THAN LABOUR. So why on earth are you Tweeting that this is “Good to see …”???

    1. IanB
      December 21, 2022

      @X-TORY +1

      Conservative Government betrayal, it’s not an increase of UK’s own stocks but a proportional decline – as the Euro fleets have a massive increase of our fish our food stocks.

  35. Lester_Cynic
    December 21, 2022

    Should a Spanish postal (non) delivery company be allowed to refer to themselves as Royal Mail?

    I don’t think that Spain has a royal family

  36. Lester_Cynic
    December 21, 2022

    Should a Spanish postal delivery company be allowed to refer to themselves as Royal Main?

    I don’t think that the Spaniards have a royal family

    And I haven’t said this before!

    1. Mickey Taking
      December 21, 2022

      Oh yes you have! And Spain does have a (dubious) Royal Family.
      Perhaps mail could be delivered overseas by a new armada?

  37. Pauline Baxter
    December 21, 2022

    Yes, well, you have brought out some of the lunacy that surrounds us, Sir John and commenters have pointed out more.
    It is not funny though really is it?

  38. Narrow Shoulders
    December 22, 2022

    Thank you Sir John – mirth is a great antiseptic.

    There is so much self interest and hypocrisy right across our society at present and everyone’s self interest is dressed up as virtue.

  39. margaret
    December 22, 2022

    Terribly upset as I was having a Ulyssess
    Bloomfield moment . and you haven’t published this stream of consciousness!

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