The Humpty Dumpty government in waiting thought a lot of themselves .They were after all all good eggs. In these environmental days they were well to the free range end of the spectrum. Some had made good livings as lawyers or charity executives or trade union officials . It made them very careful to tell others to obey the law and very willing to call out those who did not.
The leader of the party particularly liked international law. He could fly away to so many interesting places. He could meet lots of important people who all thought like him. It was so much more agreeable than trying to explain to the ordinary people why net zero mattered or how we needed to invite in so many migrants to meet our international law duties
Once upon a time people told a successful public sector lawyer he could become Prime Minister. He was flattered but had his doubts. It would mean he might lose his very good public sector lawyer pension. They said they could fix that for him. He could even go on and get a big PM pension and lifetime allowances as well. They pointed out he could do more international conferences and be free to travel in his own special jet. So he decided to have a go.
He got himself elected to Parliament and got into the Shadow Cabinet of a left wing leader who lost the election.So he pitchedĀ to becomeĀ Leader, saying he was different and more moderate which is what electors wanted. He also made sure he was left wing enough to win, which he duly did.
Then he had a piece of luck. The government he opposed first locked down the whole country stopping many working to deal with a pandemic. He backed that and wanted longer lockdowns. Unfortunately it was doing lots of economic damage, where the public naturally blamed the government. Then the Bank printed lots of money and gave the country a big inflation which was very unpopular. He blamed the governing politicians and avoided saying how he might have stopped the Bank doing what they called Quantitative easing. He posed as the safe alternative. He got all the way to the election promising little other than a general message he would change things for the better. He won a huge majority.
His supporters put the whole Humpty Dumpty government up on a tall wall to see all the admiring electors. They felt a bit nervous up there but realised they did now need to be on display.
The Humpty Dumpty government sat on a Great Wall of indecision. They had been good at complaining about everything in Opposition and blaming anything bad on the government. They now had to ask themselves the difficult question.
What shall we do, now we have so much power?
The Home Secretary, the Chancellor, the Health Secretary, the Deputy Prime Minister and the Foreign Secretary in the Humpty Dumpty government told the Prime Minister they should keep promising all would be improved.
They had been elected by all too few people but enjoyed a huge majority because people so wanted change. Voters were fed up with so many migrants coming to the country so they promised to crush the people smugglers.
Electors were angry at the inflation which had put up prices and made them worse off. So they pledged to transform the U.K. into the fastest growing of all the major economies.
People were cross that when they needed to see a doctor or get medical treatment there were so many delays and so much difficulty in arranging an appointment. They said they would mend the broken health service.
Young people were frustrated that homes were so dear so many could not afford to buy one. They told people they would change planning rules and build lots more houses.
Many were annoyed that when it came to giving out help the government seemed to give priority to giving things away to foreigners. The government wrapped themselves in the Union Jack and said they were proud of the U.K . .
The government embarked on its first few months telling the public everything was broken, but failing to say how they were fixing it. Soon they heard some critical voices raised against them.
Five months into the government the people were very angry . The number of illegal migrants coming by small boats had gone up. The Chancellor’s unexpected tax rises had slashed growth and led to a loss of jobs and cancelled investments. Pensioners and small businessesĀ had to pay for all the giveaways to others. The NHS received a lot more money but there were still very long waits. Mortgages to buy a home started going up again whilst no more homes were built. The U.K. kept giving more away to foreigners, giving away the Chagos islands and promising a lot more money to foreign countries to help them with net zero costs.
The Prime Minister had been all round the world giving things away to countries that did not like us and trying to be closer friends with Europe and with the UN. As he sat with the Cabinet on the wall and looked down he could see people pointing to them to get off the wall. So he called a Council of his key Cabinet Ministers to think through what to do.
Well said the Home Secretary we need to press on with our plans to slash illegal migrant numbers. We can speed up consideration of their cases once they have got here and find most of them deserve to stay. That way we can get them out of special hotels and let them find other accommodation. We can make it easier to come here legally. We can stage a few successes in prosecuting people smugglers but we need to show how this a Europe wide problem with illegal entry to the EU before they come to us.
The Chancellor said she had to put up taxes a lot to pay for all the public sector workers pay awards the party supported. She would carry on blaming the last government for not leaving enough money behind. She was cross that so many businesses were refusing to invest and hire more people when she had told them to do so. The Bank and Treasury had not told her borrowing more would put up mortgage rates.
The Health Secretary reported that the NHS was broken. He was asking patients and voters how to fix it. You couldn’t blame him. It would take a long time to mend.
The Deputy Prime Minister reported she had told the Councils to grant more planning permissions. It wasn’t her fault that the Chancellors budget had put up mortgage rates.
The Foreign Secretary said it was most important the U.K. agreed with foreign country views of international law and paid all our bills. It was right to increase net zero payments and right to pay to lease back an island we had given away.
The Prime Minister thought that all made a lot of sense so he decided the problem must be the people. He had had to be very firm at the beginning and told the courts to crack down hard on right wing protesters complaining about too much illegal migration. It was clear too few people understood the perfect way he was handling impossible problems inherited from the past against a very unsettled world background. He would continue to take an international lawyers view of what to do.
Meanwhile growth collapsed, inflation started to rise again, the government was way short of its housing and NHS waiting list targets and people were demanding a new early election. The Humpty Dumpty government felt very alone, very exposed and very vulnerable. Would anyone succeed in pulling them down?
There are two endings to this story. In the happy one the Humpty Dumpty government remembered the old nursery rhyme, listened to the public and won back support by doing what the public wanted. That was something special, a government that did what people wanted. They were delighted to hear the cheers as the people came to like their government on the wall.
The other ending saw the government double down on what they were doing.
They strengthened their attacks on their critics and told people it would all take a long time to put right. That made sitting on the wall a very uncomfortable experience. What do you think happens? Did the government fall and did its leading characters rush away from the problems to write their memoirs and earn their speaking fees?
This is a democratic forum, so you will decided the ending in the light of what the government does next.
December 21, 2024
Telling it as you do makes this government appear quite benign. A story fit to get past your moderator, in the spirit of Christmas perhaps. Quite the opposite, this collection of largely low grade chancers are well out of their depth, a danger to every citizen and private/public company in the UK. They have only this week signalled their danger to our greatest allie in this largely poorly run world. Face it, no fairy tale will mitigate their incompetence and almost weekly announcements, or milestones to abject failure. The only question is for how long can they be tolerated.
December 21, 2024
Indeed evil. Plus they will destroy the economy go back into the EU by stealth. The real question is what on earth can done to evict them before 4.5 years? But it is the Con-Socialists serial political frauds to blame for Starmer – plus the PPE dope Sunak for throwing the towel in six months early – we could be having the election about now. Has Sunak corrected his covid vaccine are safe ālie?ā to the House yet?
December 21, 2024
“Then he had a piece of luck. The government he opposed first locked down the whole country stopping many working to deal with a pandemic.”
This clearly made the pandemic and the economy far worse as was obvious at the time. Locking up people who were at no risk from Covid just delayed their free natural vaccination. Locking up people who were at risk just delayed their infections by a month or so. The net harm unsafe and ineffective vaccination made this even worse. Isabel Hardman’s substack is very good on this recently.
December 21, 2024
Sorry Isabel Oakeshott I meant.
So the BoE tells us the budget is causing price rises and destroying jobs what on earth did anti growth Rachel (I am an economist) Reeves and her treasury “experts” think would happen? Did they read PPE too like Reeves and Peter Mandelson?
December 21, 2024
We’re just waiting for the big fall. Maybe a push is required to smash this rotten egg.
We can but hope
December 21, 2024
and he is selling the Post Office to a foreigner.
December 21, 2024
Royal Mail is it not?
December 21, 2024
PASSENGERS traveling this month are being warned not to take huge suitcases onboard in an airline-style crackdown. Great Western Railway has introduced the new rules ahead of Christmas travel, due to fears of overcrowding on trains.
Run sufficient trains perhaps?
But no “Worst rail firms cancel 800 trains per day ahead of Christmas travel nightmare” and the Government want us out of cars on to walking, bikes and public transport! So if you need your luggage, presents, tools…?
December 21, 2024
I had the dubious pleasure of travelling on a Great Western train a few weeks ago: plenty of people in an overcrowded 3 carriage train heading (presumably) to Bristol Airport because of the size of the cases they had. There was hardly any storage space for suitcases and people were also reluctant to leave them in an area where they couldn’t observe them in case they “went walkabout.” They either need to redesign the carriages; provide CCTV so you can keep an eye on your case in storage or … the cheapest and most obvious solution …. provide longer trains on routes where many people are likely to have a suitcase.
December 21, 2024
Railway companies can’t get more drivers etc to work overtime shifts on ‘rest days’.
Why? Well to start it is not in their contracts of employment. They have had inflationary pay increases for many years, successive Governments making a job that ought to be faded out by computer driven trains now the one to aspire to. Drivers are urged by unions to keep the strength of militant action. They to would like days off, and on handsome pay why not? Ooops. be careful what you wish for!
December 21, 2024
Sadly, I fear the latter. Leopards don’t change their spots. As the government becomes increasingly defensive it will create more and more discontent, probably riots, many more people locked up for trivial offences, not just driving at 23 mph in a 20 mph zone but thought crime, unvoiced, in the street. Is totalitarianism the inevitable consequence of democracy?
The question is how to stop it when the good men are no longer around. The mess is so deeply entrenched that it will take a generation to put right.
December 21, 2024
Nigel Farage āhasnāt got a clueā how to fix the economy, says Rachel Reeves!
Is she mad? These idiotic lefties and PPE graduates. Farage knows exactly what is needed as does any sensible economist. Lower simpler taxes, far less state sector, a bonfire or red tape, scrap net zero, quality high skilled immigration only, stop rigging markets in energy, education, housing, banking, transport… get rid of two tier policing and justice, criminal deterrents… for a start.
December 21, 2024
The humpty ‘numpties’ sat on the state wall, have no idea how vulnerable they are to the approaching bulldozer driven by a Reforming builder who looked critically at their construct of international design. He along with the will of the people began knocking it down. The numpties still perched on it, were not able to look to their international friends for help because the wrecking ball was also swinging in the headquarters of their international policy HQ across the sea.
The much championed desire for Net Zero had arrived, but not as the advocates intended. There was zero support for the failed and damaging policies being promoted by the Ed Numpty, there was zero scientific evidence of any crisis in climate, and there is zero evidence of any catastrophic changes in the variability of Earth’s weather systems.
The destruction of wealth policies that took essential winter fuel money from pensioners and took farms from generationally family owned farms, plus removed manufacturing jobs from all sectors but particularly from heavy industry, was finally stopped.
The insanity of being Left on the wall shouting, but having no answers came to an end.
December 21, 2024
Keir Strarmer lies cracked and empty. Completely useless.
Not even a hermit crab could trust him for housing or defence.
December 21, 2024
For housing, defence, living standard, jobs & a sound economy you need cheap reliable energy Ed Miliband plans very expensive, intermittent and unreliable energy.
December 21, 2024
Hard to understand the reason for this – we only have the choice of the two ie.Humpty Dumpty and the ‘others’ but if you think we deserve only the ‘others’ then that is a different form of politics however if we’re not careful it can lead on to a Farage/Musk mix 1930’s style – we messed up over the brexit business so why not go the whole hog.
December 21, 2024
I think all the Kingās horses and all the Kingās men will find putting Humpty Dumpty together again an impossible task and they will turn back to their barracks in dismay.
The issue is Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall because he is abnormally incompetent and got almost everything wrong.
I believe he is stubborn though and he will lie on the ground in pieces but instead of blaming himself for his misfortune he will blame the wind for blowing him off the wall or the Kingās men for not supporting him.
December 21, 2024
It will be the second scenario and they don’t care. They’re doing it deliberately and they know that under our pretendy-democracy, there is nothing that can be done to stop them …. and the Official Opposition don’t want to anyway since they’re signed up to the same objectives.
It is all part of the plan to deliver UN Agenda 2030.
December 21, 2024
“We can speed up consideration of their cases once they have got here and find most of them [illegal migrants] deserve to stay. ”
Do I understand correctly that Sir John Redwood has changed his mind? Most of these migrants have no right at all to be in the UK. They have come from a safe country, France, where they have spent many months or years. They no longer have the protection of the UN Convention Article 31 – yes, I am aware of the court case regarding the stop over. They should be returned to France. As they are illegal entrants, under the ECHR Article 5 the UK has every right to refuse them entry, detain them, deport them or return them to France as it sees fit. The UN Convention also requires France to issue them with identity documents and the UK can act on the assumption that this has been done unless France can prove otherwise. In these cases France and the UK and France can act jointly to deport them via France. In fact many of these cases are asylum seekers who have been rejected by France and on whom deportation orders have already been issued.
The UN Convention on the Law of the Sea empowers UK to take such action immediately on intercepting boats in The Channel up to the limits of the contiguous zone, up to 24 nmiles beyond the baseline of its territorial waters which extend up to 12 nmiles.
The UK is also empowered to enforce its domestic law out to the limit of its contiguous zone. In unsafe conditions for migrant boats the UK should prosecute the drivers of the boats under the Offences against the Person Act 1861 for endangering human life at sea.
The only thing missing is political will.
Reply The story is satire, not my policy recommendation!